STORY TIME

Ok... So marriage has been hard not in the I dont want to be married way but in the way that life trials has made it hard. Being newley married and being first time parents at the same time brings tons of stress though I would not change a thing I wish I would have been smarter as a young adult and teen and not been so stupidly stupid hah! Ava is my ROCK the reason I wake up obviously and the reason I say time for bed. Its all about our decisions in life that will make or break relationships and plain and simple your life! I know that Aaron and I had to grow up fast. Just because we were headed a direction by our actions never meant we were ready to take on the maturity and responsibilities to get married and raise a baby. Trust me we werent ready we were so oblivious to it all! We thought how hard could it be we love eachother so much and some day want to get married so lets do it all backwords! OH MY GOSH I could kill me now because love, parenting and marriage is not something you just think you can do you have to know it deep in your heart. You have to be smart you cant live like a high schooler and mooch off your parents but say its all gravy! I wish I had a smarter brain one that would have said let me go to collage and not worry so much about spending every minute consumed with Aaron and my friends and hanging out! But as I think about where I am and what and who I have become I can say with no regret that I have become such a better person because of my hard ships in life. I may have been stupid and gotten pregnant at 20 and not been married. I may have rushed into things too quickly I may have done my share of drugs and drinking but I can say I am happy I learned this way. Yes it would have been awesome to do things the right way to feel that FIRE when you want to marry the person you love. I just felt fat and stressed and worried. I never got to have my dream wedding though my wedding was perfect for that time in my life I wish I had more to remember. I look at my brothers and all I can say is they are such a insperation. Thats the way both Aaron and I wish we had it. Aaron is my LIFE. He is my Best friend and sometimes we do get into fits and fights but at the end of the day the mean words and un kind things we do we know that it wasn't real or worth holding onto. He is the best at giving me hope for our future the one that picks my negativity to positivity! He knows life is hard but he really has such an awesome view on things. I am so negative and he isnt so its a wonderful quality for my HUSBAND to have so he can pull me out of the slums! He makes me Laugh and Cry he makes me dream.... He is my everything and someone I only want to make things better and better with and so nothing can ever come in between us. HE is the best father! dirty bums, bath times, feedings and more he is totally up for it! I for one could sit back and let him do it all thats the worst quality I have see but thats also the beautiful thing about this is that it has made me so much more active and willing to be the "MOTHER" figure!!! I havent quite gotten to be the best house WIFE as in cooking and cleaning but thats only because we live with his parents but when we have our own place I do a great job. All I mean by this little post is to say I am happy my life is no fairy tale it actually can be the oposite but its a life that makes me strive every day to be better, have better and do better! Its made life worth living! I love my family and dont know what I would be doing with out them and I dont want to know!!! LOVE YOU ALL MERRY CHRISTMAS IN A FEW DAYS can you believe it!!!!!!